I don’t know how she does it… movie review

Did you see this movie with Sarah Jessica Parker – I don’t know how she does it?

I give this movie an adamant thumbs down.

Sure, there were comical moments – check out the clip where Parker tries to pass off a store bought pie as homemade for the school bake sale.

This clearly illustrates that working moms are unable to measure a pie plate. And, even though they earn a living, working moms would never pay someone to bake for them – here comes the mommy guilt.

Overall this movie portrayed working moms (even those with a massive support system) as barely competent. Parker’s character arrives in her professional office with her hair in disarray, she worries over the opinions of other moms, and feels guilt constantly.

But worst of all, this movie set me up for believing it would be a testament to the amazingness of working moms, then, it let me down.

The Guardians’ movie review and Hooked on Houses focus on the set show I wasn’t the only one that wasn’t impressed.

I understand that Hollywood will take liberty when it comes to turning characters into caricatures, but why can’t they choose to go the other way and show how she DOES it?

When is the right time to have children?

What a personal question? Is it possible that there is a “right” answer to when is the “right time” to have children? No, but I know what my answer was.

My mother, a wise woman, offered me advice when I married my husband. She told me to know myself as a wife before introducing kids.

She absolutely wanted grandchildren. My husband and I were just 24 and 22 respectively when we married, and we had some time.

So, I listened. We took the first 8 years of our married lives just getting to know each other. When we finally called my mom and dad to tell them we were pregnant, my mother was genuinely thrilled. She never once pressured us to have kids, she never once asked when we would. She knew we wanted them, and she knew we were following her advice.

Those 8 years also allowed me to explore my career, find my talents, build my network. Now my husband and I have been married nearly 20 years. We have 3 sons, ages 9, 7, and 4. I have a 17 year career that has allowed me to contribute to the world my boys live in, and allowed me to show them that women are just as capable as men.

When I hear Trace Adkins sing You’re Gonna Miss This, it reminds me of this wisdom my mother shared with me.

The Working Mother’s Guide to Life

When I was pregnant with my first son, I read book after book. All about pregnancy, the first year of my baby’s life, all of it. The one I want to talk about today is The Working Mother’s Guide to Life by Linda Mason.

Mason is a mother of 3 herself, and co-founded Bright Horizons. This book helped me realize, even before I held my son for the first time, that I would return to work.

After having read this book, I began to understand that I needed a plan for how I would be both mother and career-woman. I had waited until my career was established to begin having children, and I knew I wanted to continue it once they were a part of my life.

Mason offered insight into this thinking that neither confirmed, nor condemned it, and that was refreshing. She offered practical tips that I use to this day to help keep daily life on track. She explained how to find and offer my children the best options for care when I am not able to be with them myself. She reminded me that I have many roles to play, including wife and colleague.

If you are conflicted about returning to work, Linda eases the transition. I still cried the first time I had to leave my sons in someone else’s care (yep, cried for each one of them). I still worry about them when I can’t attend a field trip. I still feel guilt when I don’t deliver the perfect experiences for them, but I know that I am being a better mother by accepting who I am, and I know they are better kids for having to share me.

WorkingMom blog

This blog is an opportunity to talk about the juggling, trade-offs, and circus-like balancing act we all perform as working mothers. I have a small plaque that hangs in my laundry room, and summarizes it well. It reads “the phrase working mother is redundant”.